What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
