Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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