And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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