Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize