i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
