All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
