just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
