did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
