omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
