I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
