I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just google imaged poop.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
