Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
