is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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