If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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