Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
