white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
