his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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