i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
