I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Mom said you looked used
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
