I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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