So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
These tits shall not be calmed
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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