So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize