Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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