I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
