He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
