I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
