Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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