i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
