When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
