so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
