Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
where are my eyebrows?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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