Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
