So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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