Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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