i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
