I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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