fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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