I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
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i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
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Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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