well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
