life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
