best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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