We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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