That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Randomize
