when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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