Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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