he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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