well most of my day revolves around power hour
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
