We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
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Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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