we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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