Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
