If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
