How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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