masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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