I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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