The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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