so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
