"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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