Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
